2013 Discussion

Rob Terry vs. Jessie Godderz (IMPACT, 04/25/13)
Jessie goes after the knee and pounds away, but comes off the middle rope and gets powerslammed for two before Robbie E saves. Terry throws Jessie into Robbie in an impressive spot, and back in to finish with the spinebuster at 3:02. They should keep Robbie and Jessie together, that’s a great combo. This match, not so much. ½*

Chavo Guerrero & Hernandez vs. Austin Aries & Bobby Roode (IMPACT, 04/25/13)
Aries does some showboating on Chavo, but walks into a dropkick and a nice backdrop suplex from Chavo that gets two. Aries blocks a headscissors and tags Roode in, and he’s also dominated by Hernandez. Delayed vertical suplex for Roode and Aries takes a gorilla press, but Air Mexico misses by a mile and Roode gets two. To the heel corner, where they work out their differences long enough to double-team Hernandez with various dirty heel tactics. Roode legsweep gets two. Hernandez catches Aries on a bodypress attempt and runs the heels into each other, and it’s hot tag Chavo, although the crowd doesn’t really buy into him. DDT on Roode gets two. Hernandez sets up for the Border Toss, but Kaz gets involved and the challengers can’t capitalize. Daniels comes in for some direct interference, but he screws up as well and Chavo finishes Roode with the frog splash at 8:50 to retain. This was fun, but they should have kept the belts on Roode & Aries and moved onto the Bad Influence feud. **1/2

Sonjay Dutt vs. Zema Ion vs. Chris Sabin (IMPACT, 05/02/13)
I’m pretty over this three-way for the division. Ion gets tossed by the other two, and Sabin hits Dutt with an enzuigiri for two. Ion comes back in with a sunset flip on both guys at once, but Sabin comes back with chops and backslides Dutt for two. Dutt gets a standing shot star press for two, but Ion DDTs him for two as the Refer-Eye Camera gives me motion sickness. Sabin takes over on both guys with a double powerbomb on Dutt, dropping him on Ion, and he hits Ion with a low dropkick and the Future Shock (I think that’s what it was called) at 4:00 to finish. Just a quick little TV match. **

Rob Terry vs. Joey Ryan, Robbie E & Jessie Godderz (IMPACT, 05/02/13)
This heel group is such a perfect pairing. They should just turn Terry back again and have them be the Four Bros-Men or something. Our heroes manage to triple-team Terry in the corner, but he fights off the clown squad and finishes Joey with whatever his finisher is supposed to be at 3:33. Terry is going nowhere, the other guys are the money. DUD

D-Lo Brown vs. Kurt Angle (I Quit, IMPACT, 05/02/13)
Angle immediately ties him up with an STF, but can’t get a submission. D-Lo pulls him out and tries to use the hammer, then settles for running Angle’s arm into the post instead. Back in, D-Lo works on the arm and puts him down with a leg lariat and goes to an armbreaker, but Angle powers into the anklelock. D-Lo escapes and tries a cobra clutch, but Angle snaps off the rolling germans. And he uses it as a submission move, doing five of them and asking for the submission. D-Lo says no, so it’s anklelock time again, but D-Lo reverses into a samoan drop this time. He goes for the SKY HIGH to finish, but Angle rolls into another anklelock and this time it’s the GRAPEVINE OF DEATH and D-Lo quits at 8:00. Surprisingly great TV match here, although D-Lo’s cartoonish Attitude-era selling was pretty distracting. ***1/4

Sting vs. Matt Morgan (IMPACT, 05/02/13)
Morgan pounds away on Sting and puts him down with a short clothesline, and adds a chokeslam for two. And we take a break, as we’re already past the point you like to see with Morgan matches. Back with Morgan choking away. Sting comes back and drags him outside for some abuse, but Morgan comes back with a sideslam for two. Sting fights back, but runs into a big boot when trying the Stinger Splash, and Morgan gets two. Morgan tries it again and looks ridiculous in the attempt, and Sting puts him in the Scorpion Deathlock. To put this in perspective, it looks like Morgan is slightly bending his knees and we’re supposed to think he’s in tremendous pain. Sting gets the move again, SORT OF, and this time Morgan passes out at 13:20 to give Sting the title shot. Really? Was he just as bored of participating in this match as we were of watching it? I feel like Joe Pesci in Casino when he was ranting “REALLY? YOU’RE PROTECTING THAT PIECE OF SHIT?” after seeing that cop-out finish, especially with Sting half-heartedly pulling on his legs instead of actually applying the move. Morgan is terrible, but Sting should know better. Shame on both of them for this. ½* And yes, Sting gets ANOTHER title shot on PPV. In 2013.

Magnus vs. DOC (IMPACT, 05/09/13)
We’re JIP with Doc booting Magnus on the way down from the top rope, and then pounding on him in the corner. Corner splash and short clothesline get two. Snap suplex and Doc chokes him out on the ropes, but Magnus comes back with a series of clotheslines. Flying elbow gets two, but D-Lo saves the pin and gets his ass kicked as a result. Back in, Doc hits Magnus with a TKO for two. D-Lo interferes again, but trips up the wrong guy and Magnus gets the pin at 4:00. **

Christopher Daniels & Kazarian vs. Bobby Roode & Austin Aries (IMPACT, 05/09/13)
Tremendous sequence to start, as Kaz and Aries both go for the eyes and then blindly wander to the wrong corner, get punched in stereo, and then make a fake tag and try to leave at the same time. Roode takes over on Daniels with a clothesline, and Aries adds a cheapshot from the apron and comes in with the elbow to the back for two. Bad Influence turns the tide with some cheating of their own, as Roode gets tossed and abused by Kazarian on the floor. Back in for some double-teaming that gets two. Kaz with a springboard legdrop for two. Daniels goes up and Roode runs Kaz into him to escape the corner, and it’s hot tag Aries. Roaring Elbow for Daniels and he backdrops Daniels onto Kaz, and follows with the suicide dive onto both guys. Back in, he goes up with a frog splash for two. Bad Influence comes back with the double-team powerbomb for two, but Roode saves and hits Kaz with a spinebuster. Aries suplexes Daniels onto his head, but misses a charge. They trade suplex reversals and Daniels rolls him up, but blatantly pulls the tights and Storm won’t count. Aries grabs a beer and disrespects it in front of Storm, and that means Storm won’t count when Aries knocks him out and pins him. Storm superkicks Aries and walks off, so it’s some kind of Sports Entertainment Finish at 12:00. Disappointing ending, but the finishing sequence was AWESOME. ***1/2

Sting, Kurt Angle & ??? vs. Bully Ray, Devon & Mr. Anderson (IMPACT, 05/09/13)
Whoever the wild card is, they’re sure tardy. Devon wins a slugfest with Angle, but a suplex gets two for Angle. Sting comes in and gets pounded by Anderson, but the babyfaces double-team him and Angle stomps him down in the corner. The Aces finally trap them in the corner and take over, but someone has laid out the rest of the Aces backstage. And we take a break with that cliffhanger. Back with Bully beating on Angle, and Anderson slugs him down for two. They continue working the neck and Bully gets a neckbreaker, but Angle fights back with the Angle Slam and it’s hot tag Sting. Stinger splash for Devon and the Scorpion deathdrop gets two. Another splash and a bulldog gets two. Bully makes the save and Sting beats on him and puts him in the Scorpion deathlock, but Anderson breaks that up. Mic Check and he brawls outside with Angle…but Abyss returns?! Anderson gets chokeslammed through a table, Black Hole Slam finishes Devon at 17:47. Well that was a hell of a finish. ***1/4 BUT WHAT ABOUT JOSEPH PARK?

Bobby Roode vs. Chavo Guerrero (IMPACT, 05/16/13)
They trade hiptosses to start, and Roode opts to just toss Chavo to gain the advantage, and beats on him outside for a bit. Back in, they slug it out and Chavo gets a headscissors and goes up, but Roode blocks that. Chavo keeps coming with the Three Amigos and goes up to finish, but Roode brings him down and to the floor. This brings James Storm out, and he spits beer at Roode for the DQ at 4:29. Well that kind of sucked. **

Jay Bradley vs. Christian York (IMPACT, 05/16/13)
So the winner of this advances to the PPV to face the winner of something else and the winner of THAT gets entered into the Bound for Glory series as designated cannon fodder. York works the arm to start, but Bradley puts him down with a big boot for two. Bradley pounds away and sets up for the BOOMSTICK, but York ducks it and fires back. York with a somersault into the corner and they slug it out, but York goes up and misses something, allowing Bradley to finish with the Boomstick lariat at 4:00. Watchable thanks to York, but really sloppy and Bradley looked green. *1/2

Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky (IMPACT, 05/16/13)
Backstage, Brooke books Mickie in another title match next week for some reason. Velvet fights off Gail’s attack and takes her down with a headscissors, but Kim goes after the injured leg to take over. That continues unabated for a while before Velvet makes the comeback, but stupidly does a high kick on the bad leg. Kim sweeps the leg, but Sky rolls her up for the pin at 6:20. Really? Kim’s in total control for the entire match and Sky has one good leg and still manages to beat her with a rollup? That’s what someone thought was a good finish? This division has been getting, dare I say, WWE-like recently with thus stuff. *

Kenny King vs. Petey Williams vs. Chris Sabin (IMPACT, 05/16/13)
Surprised they’re going with the blowoff on a taped show. They’ve done a really solid job of building up the Sabin-King feud…but this is a three way. King decides to wait it out on the floor, leaving Williams to beat on Sabin, but then changes his mind and yanks Petey to the floor. Sabin slugs away on King, but Kenny comes back with an enzuigiri. Williams sends Sabin to the floor, but King hits Petey from behind and gets two. He whips him around the ring and hits the chinlock, but Sabin comes back in and makes the comeback. Northern Lights suplex gets two on King. Williams tosses Sabin and legsweeps King for two. Downward Spiral gets two. Sabin breaks up the Destroyer attempt with a clothesline and goes up, but King kicks him down and adds another spinkick to Petey for two. Backbreaker gets two. Sabin with an enzuigiri on King and he hangs him in the Tree of Woe, then FUs Petey into the prone King. King recovers, tosses Sabin, and finishes Petey with the Royal Flush at 7:25. They pretty much told us in the pre-match promos that it was going to be the finish, so really we shouldn’t be surprised. OK match. **1/2

Christopher Daniels vs. Hernandez (IMPACT, 05/16/13)
Hernandez gets the delayed suplex and AIR MEXICO clothesline, but Kaz trips him up and Daniels takes over with a clothesline. Neckbreaker gets two and Kaz gets some shots in from the outside, but Hernandez slingshots back in with a shoulderblock. Blind charge misses and Daniels tries to finish, but now Storm comes out and distracts Daniels long enough for Hernandez to finish with the Pounce at 4:24. Storm announces that at the PPV, it’ll be Chavo/Hernandez v. Aries/Roode v. Daniels/Kazarian v. himself and a partner. Assuming he’s healthy in time, I guess. I kind of hope it’s Chris Harris, but Jeff Hardy seems like the safer bet. Either way, they HAVE to change these titles to get off the treadmill of the same three teams. **

D-Lo Brown vs. Joseph Park (IMPACT, 05/16/13)
D-Lo quickly dominates and beats on Park outside, then back in for a Shining Wizard and a seated clothesline. D-Lo misses a blind charge and Park rolls him up for two, but D-Lo kicks him back into the corner again. Corner clothesline and he slugs away in the corner…but he draws blood. That proves to be very bad for D-Lo, as Park makes the magic transformation and destroys him with the Black Hole Slam at 4:41. So now Park presumably gets the TV title shot at Slammiversary. More greatness from Park afterwards, as he does all the Abyss mannerisms and then snaps back to reality, apparently having forgotten what happened. Perhaps he has the same concussion issues Ziggler does. *

Petey Williams vs. Joey Ryan vs. Suicide (IMPACT, 05/23/13)
Even the mysterious masked man has a Twitter account. Ryan gets tossed and Suicide takes Petey down with a headscissors, but Petey puts him on the floor. Joey stops to oil his chest, but Suicide comes back in with a top rope rana. We get a cool spot with Suicide holding Ryan in an indian deathlock while putting Petey in an abdominal stretch. Ryan & Petey fight to the floor and Suicide hits them with a dive, a suicide dive if you will, but Petey pops back in with a codebreaker on Ryan. Suicide cradles Ryan for two, but Petey tries the Destroyer on him, which Ryan breaks up. Suicide comes back with a neckbreaker on Ryan and finishes with a wheelbarrow into double knees at 4:00. Obviously Joey was just there to do the job, but he hung in there pretty good outside of his comedy spots. Short, but all action. **1/2

Magnus vs. Wes Brisco (IMPACT 05/23/13)
Magnus kicks the shit out of him and gutwrenches him, and Brisco wisely bails as we take a break. Back with Brisco chinlocking Magnus and pounding on him. Magnus comes back and gets a delayed suplex before going up, but the other Aces run in for the DQ at 7:43. Nothing match. *1/2 Another beatdown follows, but now it’s Samoa Joe making the save, which I’m assuming sets up Joe/Magnus v. Brischoff at the PPV. So that’s all fine.

Kurt Angle vs. Mr. Anderson (IMPACT, 05/23/13)
We’re JIP after a break, and Angle is stomping Anderson down in the corner. Angle suplex gets two. Blind charge misses and Anderson takes over and works on the arm. A hammerlock slam gets two and Anderson stays on the armbar, but Angle comes back with a belly to belly for two. Anderson with the Lambeau Leap for two. Angle with the rolling germans, but Anderson hits the mic check for two. Anderson goes up and Angle brings him down with the pop up superplex and the STRAPS ARE DOWN. This brings AJ Styles out of the dumpster he was living in this week, and Anderson goes low for the pin at 8:03 aired. Still no decision from AJ, of course. **1/2

Velvet Sky vs. Mickie James (IMPACT, 05/23/13)
They trade wristlocks as Tenay points out that Sky has been champion for four months. THAT is how decompressed this TV show has become. It’s like Brian Michael Bendis is on the booking team now. They slug it out and Mickie takes her down with a terrible looking full nelson slam as we take a break. Back with Velvet armdragging out of a wristlock and making the comeback while occasionally remembering to sell the horribly injured knee. They do a ridiculous looking reversal sequence where it looks like Velvet forgot what she was supposed to be doing, and Mickie pounds on her in the corner. Possibly in frustration over what a shitty worker Velvet is. Velvet gets the spinning headscissors, but now she once again randomly remembers that her knee is hurt, and Mickie takes out the knee. A shity looking DDT gives Mickie the title again at 9:11. This was AWFUL, as they blew everything left and right. -* Insert Velvet Sky joke here. Actually, I’d probably bump this up to DUD because of all the gratuitous ODB cleavage shots. Still no heel turn for Mickie.

Bully Ray & Devon vs. Sting & Joseph Park (IMPACT, 05/30/13)
They all brawl on the floor immediately and do some walk-and-punch stuff around the ring, leading to a showdown with Sting and Bully in the ring. They collide and we take a break. Back with Devon choking Park out on the ropes, but he comes back with a hiptoss and goes up. Bully uses the CALVES OF DOOM to bring him down, however, and the Aces work him over in the corner. Bully drops an elbow for two, and Devon drops a leg and mocks Hogan’s posing. Thankfully he didn’t pantomime a radiator explosion because I know I would have been like “Too soon, dude!” Bully with a nice standing dropkick, but the heels collide and it’s hot tag Sting. He quickly hooks the Scorpion on Devon, but Park tries his own on Bully and gets shoved into Sting as a result. Sting goes it alone, but misses the splash on Bully, and 2D follows. Park looks to take Wazzup, but Abyss apparently interrupts, and Sting pins a distracted Devon with the deathdrop at 13:19. Pretty lethargic stuff, although not bad or anything. **

Bad Influence & The Dirty Heels vs. Gunstorm & Chavo Guerrero & Hernandez (IMPACT, 05/30/13)
Gunner pounds away on Kaz and suddenly all the heels claim back injuries and retreat. Roode steps in and quickly takes over with a heat segment on Chavo that’s about as exciting as anything else Chavo has been involved in, but he comes back and brings Hernandez in. The heels all bump for him like he was Dustin Rhodes in 1991 and a backbreaker gets two on Roode. Finally he gets caught in the corner by an Aries dropkick, but the brainbuster is reversed and it’s over to Gunner. The torture rack (waterboard?) finishes at 9:13. Did they really give this poor goof that finisher in 2013? This was fine. **1/2 Just goes to show that even if someone isn’t a big deal, bringing them in and treating them like one can make them one. Won’t work with Gunner, but I admire the attempt.

Kenny King & Gail Kim vs. Chris Sabin & Taryn Terrell (IMPACT, 05/30/13)
This has 14 car pileup written all over it. Taryn hits Kim with a neckbreaker and slugs away in the corner, then suplexes her in from the apron and hits a flying bodypress for two. Over to the men, as Sabin controls King with armdrags, but King comes back with a high kick for two. Spinkick gets two as Taz speculates that ODB might be drunk. Sabin comes back with a doctorbomb variation for two, and the women get into a footrace. This leads to Taryn spearing Gail, while Sabin finishes King with the Cradle Shock at 4:57. Wisely, this was mostly the men. **

AJ Styles vs. Mr. Anderson (IMPACT, 05/30/13)
AJ wins a slugfest to start and punts Anderson in the ribs, and a suplex gets two. AJ pounds him in the corner, but Anderson gets a cheapshot and stomps him down. AJ comes back and baseball slides him out of the ring, and we take a break. Back with a fight on the apron, and Anderson DDTs him there to take over. Back in, that gets two. We get a lengthy armbar from Anderson, until AJ gets fired up and makes the comeback with a clothesline. AJ with a splash for two. He goes for a tornado DDT, but Anderson blocks him with the Lambeau Leap for two. AJ hangs him in the Tree of Woe and follows with a dropkick to the face, and Kurt Angle runs in for the DQ at 14:18. Pretty decent match that of course ended up going nowhere. ** A big brawl erupts, leaving us with Bully and Sting slugging it out until the Aces lay him out to end the show.

Hernandez vs. Chavo Guerrero (IMPACT, 06/06/13)
Winner of this gets added to the Series. Chavo tries some uppercuts out of the corner, but gets thrown down, so he goes to the arm instead. Hernandez misses a splash and Chavo hits a senton and goes back to the arm. Hernandez comes back and pounds away, and a backbreaker gets two. Slingshot shoulderblock misses and Chavo hits the Three Amigos, but Hernandez powers out. Chavo keeps coming with a rolling kick in the corner and he goes up, but the frog splash hits the knees. Border Toss is reversed by Chavo, but Hernandez rolls him up for the pin at 5:04. Chavo teases a heel turn, but then puts him over instead. **1/2

Robbie E vs. Samoa Joe (IMPACT, 06/06/13)
Robbie E feels confident in his chances here…for some reason. Last year, he got 5 points, you know. Joe destroys him and casually steps out of the way of a flying bodypress, a spot that I never get tired of. Muscle Buster and choke ends the slaughter at 1:40. ½*

Bobby Roode, Austin Aries & Kenny King vs. Gun-Storm & Chris Sabin (IMPACT, 06/06/13)
Sabin controls King with armdrags and the heels all bail to the floor. Sabin hits them all with a dive, but Aries trips him up on the way in and the heels take over. Sabin escapes and brings in Storm, and he runs wild on Roode, but again Aries uses a cheapshot to turn the tide. Storm takes the beating, but it’s hot tag Gunner, and the crowd is actually reacting to him because they treated him like a big deal. How about that. Slingshot suplex on King gets two, but he walks into the Roode spinebuster. It’s BONZO GONZO as everyone hits their highspots, and Sabin finishes King with the Cradle Shock at 6:40. Fun match. **3/4

Mickie James vs. Taeler Hendrix (IMPACT, 06/06/13)
Taeler goes after the arm while Mickie does the over-the-top sportsman act, and a dropkick gets two. The crowd quickly loses interest due to a fight or something in the background, and Taeler goes up while Mickie claims a knee injury. Hendrix of course falls for it, and the Mick Kick finishes at 3:45. ½* Is it me or was Hendrix looking a little rough and pudgy here?

Jeff Hardy vs. Bully Ray (IMPACT, 06/06/13)
This is non-title, with a hammer hanging above the ring. Hardy attacks to start and gets the headscissors out of the corner, sending Bully crashing into the table outside. Hardy follows with a clothesline off the apron, but Bully takes over as we take a break. Back with Bully controlling with a backdrop, and he drops a ladder on Hardy. Bully clarifies that he doesn’t need the hammer, and in fact his fist is the metaphorical hammer. Had a Dr. Horrible flashback there for a minute. Bully stops to mock his father-in-law, but this allows Hardy to come back with a DDT. Hardy wins a slugfest and climbs, but Bully brings him down. Hardy dropkicks the ladder into Bully’s other metaphorical hammer, but he climbs again and gets brought down. Taz gives advice from ringside about wearing a cup next time in one of the stranger commentary conversations. Hardy climbs again and gets brought down again, but comes back with the Whisper in the Wind. Another climb, and another Hardy bump back down, and this time Bully climbs and gets the hammer, all while still selling his injured groin. Tacky but hilarious. Jeff hits the Twist, causing the hammer to fly cartoonishly out of Bully’s hand and into Jeff’s, so Bully runs away, and that’s apparently the end of it at 17:00. That was quite the brazen non-finish to a ladder match. But then the rules weren’t particularly well defined anyway. *** We head backstage, where Hogan stalks Bully with a hammer, but Brooke stops him and we’re out.

GunStorm vs. Bad Influence (IMPACT, 06/13/13)
Some weirdness from Spike here, as the opening segment was done widescreen from what I presume was the HD version, but then when they return from commercial for this, it’s back to regular 4x3 aspect again. That kind of thing drives me CRAZY. I can only assume the one responsible was fired right after the show. Storm controls Daniels with a suplex and kneedrop, and the champs double-team him for two. Gunner with a fallaway slam on Kaz, but he gets tripped up and the heels take over. Doesn’t last long as Storm quickly gets a hot tag and slams Kaz for two. Gunner comes in as it’s BONZO GONZO and hits Kaz with a high knee, but Daniels breaks up the Waterboard. Storm with the backstabber on Daniels and codebreaker on Kaz, but Daniels hits him with the belt and Kaz gets the win at 4:31. At least Storm can’t choke this year. This is the better result anyway because the heels need it more, and it sets up a tag title program. **1/2

Crimson vs. Joseph Park (IMPACT, 06/13/13)
Crimson lays him out with a clothesline and they fight on the floor, and back in for some knees and a neckbreaker. Spinebuster, but a blind charge misses and Park rolls him up for the pin at 2:41. I don’t know if anyone even remembered Crimson. ½*

Magnus vs. Matt Morgan vs. Kenny King vs. Rob Terry (IMPACT, 06/13/13)
This is the infrequently-used four corners rules, where two guys wrestle at a time and the other two have to tag in. Morgan beats on Terry in the corner with occasional flourishes from King, but Magnus tags himself in and cleans house. He puts King down and follows with the flying elbow for two. Everyone hits their finishes and Magnus pins King at 4:45. Thank god. This was a total trainwreck. ½*

Eric Young vs. Austin Aries (IMPACT, 06/13/13)
The clip of Young’s TV show before the match is pretty funny, actually, with Young and ODB meeting up in a Minnesota ice bar and riffing on still being tag champions and “married”. They trade some mat stuff to start and Aries bails, which gives Young and ODB a chance to clown on him. Back in, Young gets a dropkick for two. Back in, Aries chokes him down and comes in with a slingshot senton for two. Taz is really funny just busting on Young non-stop (“The Cheez Whiz-like beard of Eric Young…”), and EY makes the comeback as Aries bumps all over. Aries hits the floor and Young follows with a pescado, and back in for the belly to belly for two. To the top, but a kiss from ODB distracts him and Aries finishes things with the brainbuster at 6:02. That was never particularly in doubt. Kind of wish they could do a longer, more serious match than this was. **

Aces & Eights Battle Royale (IMPACT, 06/13/13)
Anderson does goofy eliminations of Brisco, Bischoff, Knux and Devon, but Doc decides to stand his ground. This gets a surprisingly big reaction, but Anderson tosses him anyway to win at 3:46. This was a joke, but at least they were up front about it.

AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle (IMPACT, 06/13/13)
Styles has cool new blues music to go with his brooding teenage girl character. AJ with the dropkick and a backbreaker. They slug it out and AJ gets the suplex, but Angle blocks a second one and AJ steps up with a suplex into the corner instead. We take a break with Rampage watching, and return with AJ still in control outside. Angle comes back with a suplex on the floor, and back in for a backbreaker that gets two. Suplex gets two, but AJ fights back with a pretty awesome series of strikes to put Kurt down. The spinning backfist into the clothesline was particularly choice. Springboard forearm gets two. Angle gets the rolling germans, but AJ counters an Angle Slam into a DDT for two. Blind charge misses and Angle gets the slam for two. Anklelock, but AJ reverses into his toehold, which Angle reverses back again. AJ puts him down with a spinkick and DDTs him into the corner. The Aces try the run-in, but Angle fights them off and AJ rolls up Angle for the pin at 15:22. Well so much for Doc’s plan. They decide to beat up Angle instead, but Rampage makes the save. Usual high-level from these two, although AJ’s character is so flattened out now that the crowd barely cares about him anymore. ***1/2

Mr. Anderson vs. Joseph Park (IMPACT, 06/20/13)
Anderson offers him a headlock and casually escapes, but Park counters with a takedown and Anderson dropkicks the knee as a result. Tenay brings up a good point about how going for submissions is actually kind of a bad idea if you don’t know any. Park gets a rollup for two, but Anderson puts him down with a neckbreaker and hits the chinlock. He goes up and misses the swanton, allowing Park to make the comeback. He misses a blind charge and Anderson tries the fireman’s carry, but Park reverses into a Boston Crab. Doc provides distraction and Anderson gets two, however. Park comes back again and goes up, but Doc interferes AGAIN and Anderson finishes with the Mic Check at 5:00. Not much to this one. **

Jay Bradley vs. Austin Aries (IMPACT, 06/20/13)
Not surprisingly, Aries completely destroys him and throws knees, then goes up, but Bradley boots him to the floor. Back in, Bradley knees him down for two. He drops elbows for two, but misses the charge and Aries takes over. He works the knee and goes up with a missile dropkick, but charges and hits boot. Aries counters the BOOMSTICK with a roaring elbow, but Bradley puts him down with a backbreaker. Aries snaps off a nice crucifix and finishes with the brainbuster at 3:38. Point made there. Bradley is pretty terrible. Feels like they should have just changed his name to Jay Bradshaw and been done with it. *1/2

Hernandez vs. Christopher Daniels (IMPACT, 06/20/13)
Mike Tenay crafts a backstory here because Hernandez doesn’t provide a particularly compelling reason to call him out. Hernandez throws him around and gets two, and hits Air Mexico, but Daniels goes low and finishes with the BME at 2:14. *1/2

Kazarian vs. Magnus (IMPACT, 06/20/13)
Magnus quickly dumps Kaz, but Kaz kicks him down and drops an elbow for two. Neckbreaker and he works on the neck, but Magnus escapes and comes back with clotheslines and the Michinoku Driver for two. Blind charge misses and Kaz tries a missile dropkick, but Magnus hooks him in a Cloverleaf for the submission at 2:54. **

AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe (IMPACT, 06/20/13)
Man, they are trying REALLY hard with AJ, giving him a fresh new look and wrestling style, plus an awesome new entrance, but it’s just flattening him out instead of elevating him. AJ clarifies before the match that he’s in this for the money, not to be a hero. So you can be sure he’ll be a hero by the end of the deal. AJ grabs a headlock and they work off that for a bit, and AJ throws chops in the corner. Taz sums up the new AJ’s wrestling style: “A tad laid-back.” Well, yeah. AJ with a backdrop suplex and dodges a charging Joe, but a kick puts AJ on the floor. AJ heads back in, but Joe kicks him down from the floor in an awesome spot and we take a break. Back with Joe dropping an elbow on AJ’s face, but he walks into the dropkick and hits the floor again. AJ follows with a baseball slide and there’s five minutes left. Well that’s an obvious non-finish coming. Back in with a springboard dropkick that gets two. The fight over a suplex and AJ dropkicks the knee for two. Joe snaps off the powerslam for two and goes right into the armbar, but AJ rolls out of it and makes the ropes. They fight in the corner and head up, but AJ reverses a superplex and both are out. AJ tries his new strike combo, but Joe counters with a wicked shot TO THE FACE and beats on him in the corner. AJ rolls him into the Calf Killer, but Joe counters into the choke, and AJ rolls over for two. They slug it out with time running out and Joe takes him down, and time expires at 15:00. That was AWESOME until the draw finish. I want to see them go 30:00 now! ***3/4 The crowd is begging for another five minutes, but it’s only 2 points for each guy.

Jeff Hardy vs. Bobby Roode (IMPACT, 06/20/13)
Hardy takes him down with a headscissors in the corner, but Roode quickly hooks the crossface, forcing Hardy to make the ropes. Roode with a catapult to put Hardy on the floor and they fight out there. Back in, Roode with a suplex and kneedrop for two. Roode pounds him in the corner, but misses a charge and Hardy hits a flying splash for two. Atomic drop into the legdrop and dropkick get two. Roode reverses the Twist into the spinebuster for two. Hardy reverses a suplex into the Twist and misses the swanton, surprisingly. Roode hooks the crossface and Hardy rolls him over for two. Another crossface, but Hardy hits the Twist of Fate for the pin at 6:05. Short but action-packed. ***

Chris Sabin vs. Kenny King vs. Suicide (IMPACT, 06/27/13)
The babyfaces team up with dropkicks on King, but Suicide gets tossed and King takes over on Sabin with the high kick. Suicide comes back in with a missile dropkick and puts King on the floor, then follows with a rolling senton off the apron. Sabin hits both guys with a pescado and we take a break. Back with Sabin tying both guys up in the corner and dropkicking King for two. Suicide runs Sabin into a turnbuckle for two. They all fight to the top, setting up the Tower of Doom spot, and King gets two on Sabin. Sabin with the enzuigiri and Cradle Shock for two, as Suicide saves. He tries to finish King, but Kenny hits the head kick on Suicide and pounds him in the corner. Suicide with a small package for two. He’s no Daniel Bryan. King’s Royal Flush is reversed by Suicide for the pin and the title at 10:09, however, despite King seemingly being in the ropes. *** The replay shows he was pinned clean. However, Hulk Hogan brings out TJ Perkins, the guy who is supposed to be Suicide, and he’s limping. Hogan HATES cheaters, and he demands to know who stole the costume and thus the title. Suicide runs off into the Aces section of the crowd, however.

Ryan Howe vs. Adam Ohriner (IMPACT, 06/27/13)
Taz actually BEATS ME to the Van Hammer joke about Howe. That’s some sharp sarcasm. I have to wonder if Howe’s name is derived from replacement Bad Company singer Brian Howe, because he kind of looks like him. Ohriner is built like Batista, with nothing else going for him I can see. There’s seriously enough of that type on the roster already. So this is pretty bad, with Ohriner missing a catch on a bodypress spot and then doing some totally ridiculous “selling” during a slugfest. Howe charges and gets pinned with a powerslam at 2:43. No buys on either side here, hopefully they send both home. DUD

Mickie James vs. Velvet Sky (IMPACT, 06/27/13)
Velvet attacks to start and they slug it out in the corner, but Mickie goes to the knee and gets two. Mickie was right! She wasn’t medically cleared! Mickie goes to work on it, but Velvet cradles for two. Velvet tries a kick in the corner, but Mickie smartly grabs the knee. But then Sky just ignores it ad makes the comeback like nothing happened. Bulldog gets two. Velvet slugs away and Mickie exits the ring, so Velvet follows her for the spinning headscissors on the floor and a spear. Why would you want to do a spinning move on the floor, where you have about two feet of clearance? Back in, Mickie catches her with the DDT and gets two. Mickie tries again, but Velvet slugs out of it and clotheslines her for two. Velvet tries the headscissors again, so Mickie drives the knee into the mat and wraps it up in a submission move to finish at 6:31. Velvet continues to be the worst worker in the division, but this was at least watchable by her standards. *1/2 Hopefully Mickie moves onto something new now, like Taryn Terrell.

Bobby Roode vs. Magnus (IMPACT, 06/27/13)
They trade wristlocks to start and Magnus puts Roode down with a high knee for two. They brawl on the floor, but Roode catches him with a cheapshot on the way back and pounds him in the corner. Neckbreaker gets two, and Roode hits the chinlock. Magnus fights back and they slug it out, leading to a backdrop suplex from Magnus for the comeback. Series of clotheslines follows, but a blind charge hits boot and Roode goes up. Magnus catches him with the suplex, however, and goes up himself. Roode cuts that off and they fight on top, with Magnus dropping the big elbow for two. Roode comes back with the spinebuster for two, but Magnus gets the Michinoku Driver for the pin and 7 points at 6:57. Good little TV match. **1/2

Samoa Joe vs. Mr. Anderson (IMPACT, 06/27/13)
Joe stomps the hell out of Anderson and hits the kick in the corner for two. Anderson takes over after a quick brawl outside and goes after the arm, but Joe splashes him for two and the Aces surround the ring. Anderson takes advantage with a DDT for two, but walks into a powerslam. Sting and Angle hit the ring to even things out, and Joe finishes Anderson with the choke at 5:24 for the 10 points. Not much to this one. *1/2 As you might have guessed, Joe aligns himself with the Main Event Mafia after the win.

Kazarian vs. AJ Styles (IMPACT, 07/04/13)
Your heroes are paying tribute to Siegfried & Roy in honor of Vegas. Daniels’ stuffed tiger is GREATNESS. AJ slugs the wig off Kaz and follows with a baseball slide, as he seems to be in a worse mood than usual. Back in, he snaps off a rana and hits the corner elbow, but Kaz comes back with a monkey flip and slugs away on the mat. Dropkick gets two. AJ hits the strike combo and comes back with clotheslines, into a flying forearm for two. Kazarian with a jawbreaker for two. AJ tries to roll him into the calf killer, but Kaz counters out, and AJ does it again and Kaz taps at 4:01. They’re going full steam ahead getting that move over. **1/4

Hernandez vs. Jay Bradley (IMPACT, 07/04/13)
Hernandez wins the power battle and gets two on Bradley, but they slug it out until Bradley takes over with a falling knee for two. He dumps Hernandez after an ugly sequence, but suffers Air Mexico as a result. Powerbomb gets two. Pounce finishes at 3:15. Bradley is showing his colors, which is to say green. ½*

Gun-Storm vs. The Bro-Mans (IMPACT, 07/04/13)
Jessie and Robbie have very manly matching gear now, and take turns posing while beating on Gunner. This has some potential. Gunner quickly gets a fallaway slam on Robbie and makes the hot tag to Storm, and the Bros collide as a result. Gunner gives Jessie a massive backbreaker and they finish him at 3:08 with a double-team DDT that was pretty awesome. Fun little squash for the champs. *1/2

Jeff Hardy vs. Joseph Park (IMPACT, 07/04/13)
Hardy quickly dominates in sportsmanlike fashion, but misses the swanton and Park takes over with a whip into the corner. He’s pretty conflicted about it, but follows up with a corner splash anyway. He goes to the chinlock, but Jeff fights back with the low dropkick for two. Park gets the samoan drop, however, and goes up with the LEGAL EAGLE SPLASH…for two. Jeff hits the whisper in the wind, but busts Park’s lip open, which might be trouble. And indeed, an enraged Abyss emerges and gives the ref the Black Hole Slam, which means a DQ at 8:00. So Park loses 10 points, putting him into negatives. This was a really weird dynamic, because I was watching and thinking “Man, Hardy’s giving him a ton of offense” but really it’s Abyss and not some green rookie. That’s why the Joseph Park character is so effective. Although is anyone ever going to bring up the TV title that’s been missing for months now? **3/4

Austin Aries vs. Chris Sabin vs. Manic (IMPACT, 07/04/13)
Aries gets double-teamed, but Sabin turns on Manic and slugs away in the corner. A sunset flip gets two, but Manic spins him into the Octopus stretch and gets two. Aries puts Manic on top, but Sabin can’t take advantage and both faces end up on the floor. Aries and Sabin slug it out, and Aries gets a dropkick to the back for two and tosses him, then follows with an attempt at the brainbuster on the ramp. Sabin counters that into a front suplex, and the Aces head down to ringside for observation. Manic goes after them and that doesn’t go well for him. So that brings out the MEM and we take a break. Back with Aries giving Sabin a death valley driver on the apron and gets two. Neckbreaker gets two. Sabin fights back with an enzuigiri and a low dropkick for two. Aries misses a charge, but so does Sabin, and he injures his knee in the process. Aries with a missile dropkick, but Sabin gets a small package for two. Aries with the brainbuster for two. Last Chancery, but Sabin makes the ropes. Aries to the top, but the 450 misses and Sabin powerbombs him for two. Hail Sabin gets two. Another one is reversed to a cradle for two, and Aries puts him down with a forearm for the double KO. They slug it out and Sabin gets an elbow in the corner, but then Aries dropkicks him into the other corner and they go up. Sabin brings him down with a top rope Hail Sabin and wins the title back at 16:38. As the crowd noted, this was awesome. ****1/4 However, booking-wise, this was ass-backwards because Sabin has no chance against Bully and is basically throwing away the title for nothing. Aries at least was a believable threat who wouldn’t be hurt by cashing in and losing. Now they’ve thrown away the clever and surprising twist from last week and beaten Aries for no reason.